I knew I was gay when

A question straight white people should pay for

I wanted to start this newsletter by asking a question that was recently asked to me by a straight white person who wanted to “pick my brain”— when did you know you were gay? When they asked me I started shuffling through my usual go to answers:

I knew I was gay when I discovered my love of moisturizing and not being ashy.

I knew I was gay when I skipped PE to hang out with my school nurse.

I knew I was gay when I saw Donald Faison in Scrubs.

I knew I was gay when I wanted to sing Kelly Roland’s Part in Dilemma.

I knew I was gay when I saw Nelly in Dilemma.

I knew I was gay when I wasn’t allowed to give blood.

I knew I was gay when I became addicted to iced coffee.

I knew I was gay when my pastor told me I wasn’t going to heaven.

I knew I was gay when I knew heaven without gay people would be hell.

I knew I was gay when I discovered 300 ways to sit in a chair.

and most importantly

I knew I was gay when I knew I didn’t have to answer that stupid ass question.

I fully understand that to some people it may seem like a completely innocent thing to ask someone, but imagine a world where instead the question was when did you know you were straight? Imagine a world where the Vice President of America wasn’t a homophobic idiot who believed in conversion therapy. And imagine a country where equal opportunities were given to queer people of color on a regular basis. So before you ask any queer person to break down their identity in a way that is palatable to your privilege, please ask them for their Venmo information first.

---

Thanks for being a subscriber

New York is providing rent relief (finally) to qualified households, applications can be submitted anytime between the two week time frame listed on the website, find out more information: here

Remember you are more powerful than you know

Kile Atwater